Adventure with a capital A

As if I didn’t notice my own way. As if I hadn’t noticed the way she brushed her hair in a foreign way.

That’s what I hear from Paul Simon’s Graceland, which isn’t quite right, but expresses the mood. I noticed that the cadence and content of her communication had changed over the last few weeks, and when she told me it wasn’t unexpected.

My reaction is predictably bottled up. I’ve learned that I’ve got the vent this, if it’s all bottled up it’ll affect my next relationship. And get me in the same situation as I’m in now. So yes, I’m learning. I can at least take that away. Still I’m losing - not just a wonderful person, but also the opportunities I didn’t take over the last few months.

I’d forgotten that breaking up is not just losing a present and future with that partner, it’s also locking-in those opportunities you didn’t take in the recent past. Like solidifying capital losses. These possibilities were missed and the reward I was waiting for is no longer going to be there.

Talk about multi-pronged attack.

And she said losing love
Is like a window in your heart
Everybody sees you’re blown apart
Everybody sees the wind blow